One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
