I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I deserve this hangover.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
