Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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