I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
