I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
