it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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