I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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