It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
