One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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