69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
