the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize