I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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