that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
