it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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