all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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