I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
