Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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