I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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