i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
