why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she told me i tasted like america
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
