from now on my penis is your penis
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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