i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
