Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
