3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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