used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize