Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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