I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
