i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm both gender and math confused
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
