Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
