apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
