After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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