idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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