You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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