he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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