He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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