I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
