glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
