you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So squirting runs in the family.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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