Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
