I can tuck mytits in my pants
just tell him i said nine months
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
false alarm, still single
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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