That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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