this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
