She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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