Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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