i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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