i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
