the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
