he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
