okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
