Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
