i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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