erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize