Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
