Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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