I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
