Swine flu. Run for my life!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish I only lived at night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You're like the curious george of whores
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
