no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
