I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize