Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
