I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
