That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
