someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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