I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You're like the curious george of whores
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
