I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize