is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
