Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
